do you remember what it felt like to just go somewhere? out of the blue. no agenda. no "but where, and with who, and is it worth the drive. just, "do you wanna climb that tree?". and then you just. did.
i miss that. not the tree specifically. the feeling of it. the not-thinking-about-it of it.
it isn't specific to trees either. i used to do soo many monkey things when i was younger. my elbows and knees are proof. it's the feeling of, i wish i still could do those typa monkey things.
and there it is. the i wish. urgh. why is it something i wish for and not just, can do? or better yet, why don't i. i think it's because somewhere along the way, most of us were told we needed to grow up. start behaving like "grown ups". be more mindful. of how we spend our time, who we spend it with, and doing what. and we believed.
somebody, somewhere, at some point in time, asked a kid to put aside the tire he used to swing on, and learn how to sell the tire. make the tire. multiply the tire. and we believed.
it's like asking a dog to be less enthusiastic every time he sees his human. he might slow down with age, but the spirit never dies. we humans let it die. and we're letting it die sooner and sooner as we go. 90s kids let it die in their late 20s. 2000s kids are letting it die in their early 20s. post 2010 kids, mid teens. and the ones past 2020? jesus. are they ever actually kids? were they born with an apple watch strapped to their wrists?
the whole point of this ramble is to get you to ask yourself (as I ask myself too, repeatedly) why we constantly feel the need to be a grown up, when all the joy in the world remains, in being young at heart. <3
let ourself go more often. let there be whimsy in the most random things.
i try. i whistle to get my peoples attention instead of actually just calling them by their name. i randomly say "beep bop boop beep". just for the heck of it (mostly cuz it is unacceptable to howl 'out of the blue'.) it's all silly. but it makes me smile. from deep within. i know it's that version of me that doesn't get to just be as often that is actually smiling. give up control. mainly from thoughts like, "would anyone else do this?", "what if they think i'm an odd ball?".
let them brooo. odd ones are usually the ones that sparkle anywayyyy!
and about all the bigger and heavier things, i know we might be thinking of all the responsibilities on our plate. or the ones coming our way. of course. nobody gets that side of things better than me, trust me. but i'm talking about the little things. at least the little things. like, buy that toy you used to like as a kid. get yourself that lego set you've always wanted. do it to feel like you did when you had nothing being held over your head.
somewhere along the way, that lil kid we once were slowly shrunk away. forgot what all of this was even for. so much so that you don't recognise ourselves anymore.
or someone in your circle says you've changed. and maybe you did change a lot.
or a lot changed you.
whatever it was, it's faaaiiinneeee. really.
here are some things i'm still fighting:
wake up at 5am
your sleep schedule matters.
delete social media
what for joy? there's some great stuff on there. some memes make me literally laugh my ass off. follow people who inspire, who love, who you can learn from. always.
hustle every day or you'll fall behind
fall behind a little, it's fine. even divers take a few steps back before the leap.
find something to kill yourself for
nope. fun creates flow. flow creates great work. we really need to get over this notion of 'punching ourself in the face' for success.
because its all finite. sucks, but that's the only guarantee.
so go outside this weekend.
whatever it is, can wait till Monday.
okay byeee. xo